2011 In Review

Here are a few pictures looking back at my last few months here in C. Asia:

This is the room I moved into when I arrived.

Jet-lag...

The monument in the center of the capital city

Breaking bread for Eed Corvon

I have been named after a Turkish actor who, unlike me, has far more hair on his head than on his face.

Mark gave me a tour of the various water wheels in the Dust Valley.

Our company's leaders personally flew in to see the work that has been going on and to encourage us in this new chapter!

We enjoyed a Halloween Party at the Gleaton's!

Mark & Shabnam moved to the capital, so they had a going away party...it got a little crazy...

We continue to build relationships and make wedding appearances when invited. There was plenty of food and dancing to go around.

Our company helped sponsor a Judo Tournament for the surrounding village's children.

Miles, Joanna, Tim & I look on at our new office building...New Beginnings!

Welcome 2012!!

Repentance: "Turning Away" or "Trading Up"?

We've all seen those old men with scruffy faces and intense eyes standing in the streets of the cities crying out, "Repent or burn in Hell!" or "God hates sin!". People walk by looking on with disdain thinking, "Why would I want to listen to a nut like that?!" If the kingdom of God is near, why does that need to sound like a bad thing?

Before I flew across the pond (Atlantic Ocean) and a few mountains to where I live today, I had the opportunity to spend a weekend with a mentor and a friend of mine at a retreat put on by Dudley Hall. At this retreat, many ideas were presented from the scriptures that had a fresh, albeit biblically accurate perspective. We discussed many things including what the old covenant law means for us as participants in the new covenant today, time management, and the different views of repentance.

Repentance is the idea I wanted to write about today. Over that weekend Dudley shared with me a book he had written about repentance and the typical views we all hear about what this word truly means. I've heard many arguments over what it means and the arguments themselves make it clearly a highly disputed and misunderstood topic.

Is repentance necessary for salvation? If not, is it necessary after salvation? Does it apply to only the Jews and not the Gentiles? Who really preached repentance in the new testament?

"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near." -John the Baptist (Matt. 3:2)

"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near." -Jesus the Messiah (Matt. 4:17)

"The time has come...the kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!" -Jesus (Mark 1:15)

"This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem." -Jesus (Luke 24:46-47)

"So then, God has granted even the Gentiles repentance unto life." -The Jewish believers after hearing Peter's explanation of why he went to Cornelius' house (Acts 11:18)

"I have declared to both Jews and Greeks that they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus." -Paul [Preacher to the Gentiles] (Acts 20:21)

I could continue on and on with many more examples, but I believe what is written will suffice. Here are 3 observations:

1. Jesus, John, Peter, and Paul all spoke of or preached about repentance
2. Repentance was preached and granted to both Jews and Gentiles
3. Repentance is spoken of in positive terms, not negative (i.e. "turn or burn")

When repentance occurs, it is ALWAYS a positive thing. Why? It brings the kingdom of heaven into the life of someone new. It brings acceptance of what God has to offer (salvation, His rule, His resurrection power). No longer are we bound to the power of this world and it's rulers. No longer do we have to operate on our own understanding. No longer do we have to live as orphans working, striving, competing for acceptance, forgiveness, love...but now we can live as sons or daughters of the Living King, accepted, forgiven, loved unconditionally and forever.

Repentance, though it does involve turning away from our sins, is ultimately focused on TRADING UP to what God has to offer as opposed to what we, ourselves, or this world has to offer. It is the releasing of what you currently have (sin, shame, guilt, orphan-status, no acceptance, pride, hate, fear) and taking hold of what God offers (forgiveness, righteousness, blamelessness, adoption as sons/daughters, acceptance, humility, joy, love...and SO much more). Repentance is absolutely and always necessary to take hold of what God is offering...whether you are a believer or non-believer. Repentance is a lifestyle.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor." (Isaiah 61:1-3)

Eid Corbon (Holiday celebrating Abraham's sacrifice of Ishmael)

The typical spread at everyone's home on Corbon

This was my first experience with a Muslim holiday. According to Muslim tradition, this was the day that commemorates the sacrifice of Ishmael by his father Abraham. Early in the morning, the children go to all the different homes and ask for candy (mainly gum) and balloons. If it sounds familiar, it's because it's very similar to our Halloween, except all the candy gathering is done during the morning and day hours rather than in the evening. 

Starting around 9am, the day consisted of our team driving around to different people's houses with whom we had established relationships with and sharing in food and conversation. I haven't even been here 2 months (including the time back in 2008) and I visited 11 homes yesterday. Each home had a spread about like this one pictured above...and they want/expect you to eat. So eat I did. 

In spite of the fact that I was eating tons of food and understanding little of the conversations, I actually enjoyed the day. Our team discussed many of the reasons why they celebrate. We later found that the reasons for the traditions and the prayers for the dead (especially in homes where someone had died this year) were rooted far more in folk ancestor worship rather than in Islam itself. 

This is wonderful for giving us further insight into this culture and understanding ways we can connect and share the Message that gives life and freedom.

If I eat another bite, I don't think I could bear it...

I have a new roommate. He is a national, "like-minded" fellow whom I affectionately refer to in my blog and email updates as "V-ball" since he and I both love to play Volleyball. I'm learning a lot about this culture as I get to live, work, and enjoy recreation with my new friend and brother.

So one morning, I awake around 6:30am to him knocking on my door to tell me some important news. One of his friends in another village about 45 minutes away had shot a bear and wanted to give him and his friends the meat. So he comes in and sits on my bed to tell me about all of this and that I needed to go with him to help cut this bear up and bring it back to our village. 

I listened...thought...listened some more and then told him I would have to pass on this opportunity. It's getting real cold here and I figured this would be a whole-day ordeal that I was not interested in getting stuck in. So I told him to have fun and take some pictures.

After V-ball returns, he brings home 2 arms/shoulders and part of the back-bone with ribs. So then begins the work of cutting all the meat away from the bones. I have never done anything like this before in my life, but it seemed simple enough. We did it in our kitchen and here is what it looked like:

Notice we used wonderful tools such as a wood-axe and a knife bought from the hardware store that day.

It's tedious work cutting away all that meat from the backbone...but I was hungry for bear.

I haven't lived here a month and already I have had numerous "firsts" in terms of my experiences. God is blowing me away and teaching me ways of living which provide numerous examples of finding the spiritual significance that I can relate to the locals. 

Steps 8 & 9: Restoring Relationships (Making amends with those whom we have hurt throughout our past)

FINALLY!!! I'm all caught up on the 12 Step updates!

Steps 8 & 9 are combined as they flow out of a singular biblical principle.

Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23-24)


Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I've done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

When I first began these steps, I thought it was going to be pretty easy to go and apologize for all the damages and pain I have caused others...but once again I underestimated my pride. It has been a slow work in progress because making amends with others properly requires HUMILITY. It has meant telling others to their face that I was wrong. Why is it so difficult to admit this?? Why have I spent so much time and wasted so much energy trying to convince others and myself that I wasn't wrong...that I was justified in my sin and wrong-doings?

Plus, we are slammed with this idea that we don't ever to need to look into our pasts and deal with it. After all, it's in the past...we should move on and look forward to greater things, right? What I have failed to realize in this thing called life is that we often carry our pasts without even realizing it.


The baggage becomes a part of what makes up our character defects...like a cancer that comes from our very own cells. Don't get me wrong...God doesn't want us living in the past, but it doesn't mean He doesn't want us to deal with our past. This means we have to get real, admit that we have screwed up royally, then go and ask for forgiveness.

Since I began taking an honest look at what I have done to others, God has granted me the ability to forgive others who had hurt me. When we see our sin the way God sees it and then understand that He's forgiven it, it makes it SO much easier to forgive others who are just like me...in desperate need of His grace.

During this Step, God has shown me SO much grace through the people in my life that I have hurt who are now forgiving everything I have ever done to hurt them!! WHAT FREEDOM!!!

Jesus, thank you for taking me on this journey! With every person I encounter and make amends with, you show me that much more grace. Give me the courage and humility to admit when I am wrong, and to immediately go and make amends with whomever I might hurt. Thank you most of all for your forgiveness of my sins on the Cross!

Steps 6 & 7: Character Make-Over (Allowing God to delete my character defects)

Once again, I'm a bit behind on this blog. I am currently on Step 9 right now, but I don't want anyone who is following along to miss out on what God has been teaching me along the way.

**INCREDIBLE PRAYER ANSWERED** 

As of June 1st, I have been granted permission by those in spiritual authority over me to start raising support to go to Central Asia once again!!

Ok, back to the Celebrate Recovery Steps. Steps 6 & 7 flow out of one Biblical principle, so I will once again combine these two steps:

Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Step 7: We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." (Matthew 5:6)

Principle 5: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

One of the symptoms of someone who is sick is a lack of appetite. When we are not well spiritually, we often don't hunger and thirst for God and a deepening relationship with Him. I often hear other believers say that they don't like a certain church because they 'aren't getting fed there.' Interesting. According to Jesus in John 4:34, "My food is to do the will of Him Who sent me and to finish His work."  The kind of food we are to hunger and thirst for is NOT in the listening of the Word (though it absolutely has value and is completely necessary), but rather in the doing of what Jesus commands us to do. Listening to a good sermon is like having a waiter tell you what's on the menu. To "get fed" properly, we have to participate in DOING.

What's my point? How can I do what God requires (i.e.: righteousness-doing what is right according to God) or even hunger for it when I have all these defects of character in my soul?

We often get so focused on "doing" that we fail to realize God wants to change our very "being." Hence, we are not called human doings, rather human beings. This is another tough pill to swallow, because it takes being intensely honest with ourselves and allowing others to be intensely honest about us.

After confessing all the horrible things I have done and allowing another human being to know these things, I am free to start taking a real, honest look at my character. I have many defects and shortcomings, but Jesus is greater than any of them. If I am humble and teachable, I can allow Him to teach me new ways of living that are righteous instead of sinful.

Allow me to share a story:

A couple of weeks before Easter, someone asked me to get them a Cadbury Egg. I said, "No problem." Fast-forward 2 weeks right before Easter. When asked by this friend of mine if I had purchased the egg, my response was, "Egg??" I had completely forgotten to buy the egg. This, of course, made this person feel hurt and unappreciated.

Why did I forget the egg? Well, I thought it was because it was such a small thing & I tend to be a forgetful person. FALSE. The reason I forgot: I wasn't the one asking for it. I forgot because this person and their desires were not near as important as me and my desires. Selfish...not forgetful. How's that for honesty? Sucks...right.


Jesus, please teach me how to stop being selfish by being humble and more thoughtful of others. Please teach me how to remember when others ask me for something, even if it's small or insignificant to me, because it's probably important to that person. I want to love like you love. Change my heart, my thinking, and my character...fill me with your righteousness.

Steps 4 & 5: Taking out the spiritual trash (dealing with my baggage)

I've combined Steps 4 & 5 because they fall under the same principle (Reminder: There are 12 Steps but only 8 Biblical Principles that the steps flow from).

Before I begin elaborating, let me express that these two steps are at the heart of the whole process. You see, for years I have been holding on to things others have done to me, things I did to others, and worst of all, I have been blind to all my fears that have motivated most (if not all) of my sinful patterns. True spiritual examination and confession is no easy process. It is painful. I means admitting there is pain and that you can't do anything in and of yourself to stop it or stuff it any longer.

Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

In the beatitudes, Jesus stated that, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God" (Matthew 5:8).

Principle 4: Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.

Notice there has to be purity of heart to see God. With all the spiritual garbage of unforgiveness, resentments, past hurts and harms, and lingering fears, it's really difficult to see God. Because of things in my past that had hurt me, I began building walls around my heart/mind to defend against any more emotional, physical, or spiritual attacks.

I began putting on masks to keeps others from knowing what was really going on just below the surface.

I learned many different pretenses...the worst one being "religious."

Steps 4 & 5 helped me to face the ugly truth about my sin, my past, and everything I had ever done. God has been using these steps to teach me how to "get real" and stop pretending. It hasn't been easy, but I'm thankful to start learning who I really am in Christ and to lean on Him to help me clean up my past and truly set me free. 

Most Christians know some or even a lot about the Truth. We love to quote Jesus' words in John 8:32, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." Maybe you grew up in the church like me and knew this verse from an early age and have been claiming it most of your life.

What I failed to realize is that a few verses later Jesus says in verse 36: "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." I thought I was free...and to a certain extent, I was free. But I had merely come TO the cross for salvation, and yet I had not gone THROUGH the cross to let go of everything to be free indeed. I was oblivious to this simple truth that Jesus will set us free, but not on my terms....only on His terms. 

I don't want to be declared free and sitting in a cage the rest of my life...no, I want to be free indeed! 

Jesus...please set me free indeed and show me how to let go of my self-defenses and entrust myself to You only to defend me. I humbly and in much brokenness surrender all my junk for the freedom only You can bring. Thank You for loving me...and being infinitely patient with me!