If you don't know what I have been up to these last 18 months or so, I apologize. I just spent the year of 2009 living in and working at a Residency Discipleship program called Kingdom Authority Ministries. I moved out December 16th to pursue what Father has been wanting me to pursue...a M-trip to Central Asia...where I spent 5 weeks during the summer of 2008.
I am now in the support-raising process, and if I'm completely honest, I haven't a clue what I am doing. All I know is that He has been preparing me for this, especially with my recent experience at KA Ministries. I probably wouldn't even admit that this time last year, because of my pride.
You see, God has to break us before He can use us. I recently spoke at the annual KA Ministries Banquet a week and a half ago, and here was a snip-it of what I shared:
You see, God has to break us before He can use us. I recently spoke at the annual KA Ministries Banquet a week and a half ago, and here was a snip-it of what I shared:
"I read a story of some women who were having a Bible study in Malachi. They came to this verse in Malachi 3:3 that says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.' This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: 'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.' She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?' He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it.'"
This was what God was doing to me all last year...putting me in the furnace of his refining fires...it was painful, and I was uncomfortable, but it was needed until I would eventually break and allow God to humble me. I am now in, once again, uncomfortable, unfamiliar territory as I pursue this M-trip.
I was at an all-time low last week...and then a sweet, dear friend reminded me that this trip was not about me, or my abilities, or my knowledge, but rather it was all about God. How often I forget that this is ALL about Him!
So I prayed the next morning that God would show me...give me some sort of revelation that I indeed need to continue pursuing this mission. Not more than an hour later, I received a phone call from my missions pastor asking me to teach his class on Sunday and share my story. I was driving to the Bunkhouse to spend time with the guys there and I started crying as I heard this....what a FAST and obvious answer to prayer!
Later that day, I was getting ready to take the guys to that Third Day/Newsboys/Newsong concert at American Airlines Center, but before I left, I had enough time to check my email...and that's when I saw a substantial financia gift had been donated by some married friends of mine...again, I started crying right then and there...another obvious revelation from God that I am indeed going in the right direction.
While I am at the concert with the guys and our College Group leader and his wife, the wife tells me that she would love to cook a dinner and host some folks that I could share my mission trip with. I was too tired to cry, but my heart broke in half...how could I have doubted God?!
Like I mentioned, we were able to hear Third Day at the concert. Many of you might recognize this blog entry title from the chorus of a song by Third Day titled "Revelation." This song spoke straight to my heart that night...Here is the whole chorus:
Show me what to do
‘Cause I’ve been trying to find my way
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without you
THIS WAS MY PRAYER!! God is SO faithful, even when I am faithless.
