Many people are saying in Christian circles to those who argue against Christianity that, "It's not a religion; it's a relationship." I couldn't agree more. But isn't the word 'relationship' rather vague? I mean, shouldn't we keep going to not only speak of what this relationship is exactly, but what it practically means for every human being who has ever lived? What about this quote, "All I need is God...nothing else, just Him." It sounds mighty fine and pious, but is it true? Is God really all we need? I'll come back to these two things in a second.
As I sit here a mere 2 days away from marrying the woman I not only fell in love with over the last 4 years, but also the woman I know God wants me to marry, I am overcome with many thoughts and feelings. Now I don't want to make a huge deal as though I'm the only person in the history of man to ever get married, but as I sit halfway across the world away from the land I so often called home, away from the people I call Dad, Mom, brother, sister, niece, and nephew, I can't help but feel scared and lonely.
Why am I scared? Well for starters, it's the unknowns: What kind of husband will I be? Will I always protect her? Will I always honor her? Will I always fight for her? Will I always be there for her in a way that lets her know that she is a special and loved daughter of God? Will I always sacrifice for her over and above myself? Always?...I'm afraid the resounding, truthful, albeit unromantic answer is, "No, not always."
Will I fail her? Yes.
Why I am I lonely? Though I grew up as a boy, and thus never played house or dreamed of my wedding day, I had always assumed that when my wedding day would come, my family would be there. The ones who love me and know me so dearly are so far away. I and they cannot change this reality. It was in part my choice and a huge part God's.
Though I struggle with these thoughts and feelings, I also get to experience God's grace and love in a way that I probably wouldn't in other circumstances. This is the point. Christianity is so much more than a relationship with Jesus...it's a relationship with our real Father...a relationship with the Holy Spirit who never leaves us...and the countless relationships of brothers and sisters in Christ from all over the world. It's a family. Though everything is so obviously about God, He created us in such a way that He is NOT all we need...He is the main thing we need, but He designed us for fellowship and community within a family.
The truth is that Christianity is not a religion, it's a family. And all we need is God...and His family.
I am a son of the Living God...rightful co-heir with Christ to His Kingdom and His Glory. I did nothing to earn or achieve this. He simply chose to adopt me. As Dudley Hall puts it, we are in the kitchen and we don't have to work to get into the kitchen though all the orphans are trying. If you know Jesus, you are my brother or sister. And I love you.
In this upcoming part, I want to thank my family here in country with me as well as my family back in the States.
Miles, thank you for being my team leader. Thank you for listening to me as I struggle and for encouraging and challenging me to grow as a leader. Thank you for coming to be here for this occasion. I have a great deal of respect for you and what you have been through and the man you are becoming. I love you brother. Carla, thank you for teaching me how to cook more. I still suck at it, but you took the time to show me some things. Thank you for taking such wonderful care of your family and for celebrating with us as though we were your family. You are a wonderful wife, mother, and friend. I love you, Miles, and your children so very much.
Tim & Joanna, I love the courage and insights you have from above. You have been a constant source of joy and love in a place that so desperately needs salt and light. Though you have many concerns and fears, you have always faced them and continually work through them. You have always supported me and helped me. Thank you both so very much for being an amazing example for me those around you. You both have my upmost respect and love...I love you both.
Lenissa, you taught me how to say, "No." It's a rare trait and it's one I needed to learn badly as a leader. You have grown so much from the time that I first met you over 4 years ago, and I love the woman of the Lord that you have become and are becoming. Thank you for bridging the gaps between the last team and our team. Thank you for always listening, considering, and caring for each of us so consistently and lovingly. I love you sister.
Drew & Leslie, I have been overcome by the love you have for me, our team, and so many other teams and brothers and sisters. You guys are doing such an amazing job and I hope you don't ever feel unappreciated for what you do. I have so much love and respect for you both. Thank you for loving me so well and for being awesome parents for little Eliana. I love you three so very much.
David & Jana, wow...words cannot begin to express...but I will try. David, you were one of the first guys to be the hand of God to pick me up when I was at my lowest. You welcomed me back to being with the family again and you personified grace in so many ways to me. You listened as I shared my deepest, darkest secrets and sins. You loved me not less, but more as I sought healing from my past. You are a friend that is closer than a brother. Jana, I'm so thankful you and David are growing and learning what it means to be married as you look to disciple Italians for years to come. You are a free spirited and creative. I love you and David so very much.
Hugh & Dana, again...words are difficult to truly speak my heart as I recall the 2 plus years you put up with me and never gave up, even though I'm sure you wanted to at times. Hugh, you showed me a leadership that is rare, raw, and powerful in Christ. You personified the power of God's truth and light in penetrating the deepest, darkest, hardest parts of my heart and past. I would not be in the process of becoming the man and leader God wants me to be if you had not faced me, my pride, and my sin and called it what it truly was. I owe you more than words can speak. I'm proud to be one of your graduates at KAM and to have had the time with you that I had. Dana, thank you both for being faithful to each other all these years and for loving me with words of encouragement and prayer. I know Hugh is the man he is today in large part because of the woman you are. I love you and Hugh so very much.
There are so many others of you that I want to thank and write to let you know just how much I love you and am thankful that God has placed you in my life as my brother and sister. I need you in my life. You have supported, prayed, and encouraged me in more ways than I could write about. Due to time limits, I am now going to make mention of my family.
Paul, God could not have given me a better older brother. Though our personalities are polar opposites in many ways, you are one of my best friends and great confidants. You were there for me when I was so far from Jesus I didn't know how to come back to Him. You have been such an awesome example of what a godly husband can be. Thank you for being there for me when I was down and for becoming the godly man you are becoming today. Yours is a truly blessed family. Dani, thank you for being so thoughtful and caring as a mother to Isaac and Eli, and for being an amazing sister-in-law. Thank you for loving Paul so faithfully and for becoming the Godly wife you are today. I love you, Paul, Isaac, and Eli so very much.
Karyn, you and I know have had our dark days, and that is no secret. Though you were hurting and searching for peace in all the wrong places for so many years, you finally surrendered. You showed me a truly broken soul and a humility to learn that so few people have these days. I needed to see it...to know that it is possible. I hate what you had to go through, but I can't help but be over come by the grace that you are so obviously wrapped and caught up in. Thank you for learning what it means to be a godly wife and mother. Candon, you had your share of fears and hurts from the past, but you have been learning what it means to be healed and grow through these fears. Thank you for marrying and staying faithful to Karyn. You both have come such a long way and I am so very proud that you are my brother and friend. You both have such wonderful gifts in Madison, Deuce, Ariel, and Logan. Thank you for raising them in the way of the Lord. I love all of you so very much.
Jeremy, we were so close in age and growing up together in terms of space. However, I didn't do enough to be closer to you as a brother. For that, I'm so very sorry. I love you and the man you are. As the years have gone on and technology has advanced, you have always been there to answer my questions and to share fun times of playing games together. I want to know you more brother. I am proud that you are my brother. Anna, thank you for loving Jeremy and sharing your life with him. I that you have been through some difficult things in the past and I'm proud that you are working so hard to have a home that Grace and Max can grow up in knowing that they are loved and protected. I love you, Jeremy, Max, and Grace so very much.
Anya, I don't know when you'll be able to read this, but I am sorry I wasn't there for all those years you grew up in our family. I know it wasn't necessarily my fault as I was in the military, but I tried and will continue to try to be there for you as you struggle to learn what it means to live this life for what counts. Know that I think and pray for you often, and though you are going through scary, difficult times right now, I will always love you and will do what I can to be there for you. You are my little sister and I love you so very much.
Robyn, I picked on you a lot. A LOT. So much so that it was incessant and downright wrong at times. I saw the love that everyone showed you and I took it upon myself to be your humbler...yeah, not a job description for any human being. I'm SO sorry Robyn. In spite of me and my hooliganisms, you have become quite the strong, sassy, and beautiful woman. Now you are a wife and a mother of two. I can't imagine how rewarding and difficult it can be. You have much courage for this task and I'm thankful that you were willing to be that woman for Jake, Taitym, and Takota. Jake, I wish I knew you better. I always enjoyed watching a Rangers game or Mavericks game with you. Thank you for taking on the responsibility to love, cherish, protect, and provide for my youngest sister. I love you, Robyn, Taitym, and Takota so very much.
Mom 2 (Dawne), you came into my life when it was shattered and you filled the role of mother with dedication and desire to see us united as a family...one family. You cleaned the clothes, cooked the food, washed the dishes, taught me how to work in the home, and you taught me to do what needs to be done. Though you are hurting and have made some painful choices, I still count you as my second Mom. I hope our relationship can truly be restored as your relationship with God is restored. I love you so very much.
Mom, though our relationship was broken all these years, you have prayed and waited steadfastly. This is what I have done for over 3 years of pursuing my soon-to-be bride...prayed and waited. Thank you for never giving up hope that one day we would be united again in our relationship. O how I, too, wish you were here to dance with me at the wedding celebration. You are a beautiful soul and the most listening, loving person I know...and you fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. I pray to have that same courage as well. You have taken such amazing care of Gary, Grandma, and Gary's Mom over the years. Gary, I don't know if I have ever heard you complain...once. You are such a thankful and loving person. Thank you for marrying Mom and taking care of her as you can all these years. I love you and Mom so very much.
Dad, I love you. I know you know it, but I always want to tell you just how honored and proud I am to be the son of David Schrodt. I know you haven't been perfect, but you have always tried to be the father I needed, even when times were most difficult for you and the pressure was so immense you could feel it at every turn. You have given me quite a template of what a man is. I hope one day to be at least half as faithful, steadfast, and true in my life as you have been in mine. Over the last few years you have become my best friend. I love you Dad so very much.
There is so much to be thankful for...ultimately, I'm thankful to Jesus who came to this earth, took on my humanity and reality and sin and died in my place. I'm thankful Father chose me to be His son, Jesus' brother and the Spirit's home. I'm thankful for the family he gave me to grow up with as well as the family He continually surrounds me with here in C. Asia.
