"Death has been swallowed up in victory."
“Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”
These are the lines that many Christians quote to people who have just lost someone to death. While this is written in scripture it is not actually true...yet.
You see, when these verses are quoted they are often taken out of context. Paul quotes from Isaiah 25:18 and Hosea 13:14 only AFTER he writes, "When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory." "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?"" (I Corinthians 15:54-55 emphasis added by me)
I believe Paul is talking about the final resurrection when all believers, whether dead or alive, will receive eternal bodies that will not hurt, fall apart or die. This has not happened yet. So please, when you see someone who has just lost a loved one, do NOT quote these passages as a means of comfort.
My point is not to warn others about what to say or not say to someone who is grieving, but rather to question why we feel the need to say anything at all. What makes us so uncomfortable around suffering and death that we believe we can ease someone's loss by merely citing scripture like a magical incantation?
After attending the funeral of my Grandma's brother and being with my mentor's family as his wife's father passed away recently, I have been pondering the words of Solomon, "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart." (Ecclesiastes 7:2)
Death sucks. I hate it with every ounce of my being. The death of a loved one is often considered to be most traumatic experience anyone can have. Death still stings. Death still wins. I know and believe fully that Jesus has risen and he holds the keys to death. But until He comes back and resurrects us all, right now death still wins.
And because of this we should mourn. We should ponder our lives and what they are worth. We should sit quietly with those who mourn as Job's friends did for the first week of visiting him. We should hold them and cry with them. We must learn to embrace the tension of those awkward, quiet moments and not run from them.
Can we do better? Can we be the quiet, loving comfort that others need in their darkest hours? Can we learn that our presence is far greater than our words? Can we learn to hug and cry better than we memorize and quote scripture? If so, we can far better demonstrate the love of Jesus in a significant way to those who desperately need it.
