Steps 8 & 9 are combined as they flow out of a singular biblical principle.
Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23-24)
Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I've done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
When I first began these steps, I thought it was going to be pretty easy to go and apologize for all the damages and pain I have caused others...but once again I underestimated my pride. It has been a slow work in progress because making amends with others properly requires HUMILITY. It has meant telling others to their face that I was wrong. Why is it so difficult to admit this?? Why have I spent so much time and wasted so much energy trying to convince others and myself that I wasn't wrong...that I was justified in my sin and wrong-doings?
Plus, we are slammed with this idea that we don't ever to need to look into our pasts and deal with it. After all, it's in the past...we should move on and look forward to greater things, right? What I have failed to realize in this thing called life is that we often carry our pasts without even realizing it.
The baggage becomes a part of what makes up our character defects...like a cancer that comes from our very own cells. Don't get me wrong...God doesn't want us living in the past, but it doesn't mean He doesn't want us to deal with our past. This means we have to get real, admit that we have screwed up royally, then go and ask for forgiveness.
Since I began taking an honest look at what I have done to others, God has granted me the ability to forgive others who had hurt me. When we see our sin the way God sees it and then understand that He's forgiven it, it makes it SO much easier to forgive others who are just like me...in desperate need of His grace.
During this Step, God has shown me SO much grace through the people in my life that I have hurt who are now forgiving everything I have ever done to hurt them!! WHAT FREEDOM!!!
Jesus, thank you for taking me on this journey! With every person I encounter and make amends with, you show me that much more grace. Give me the courage and humility to admit when I am wrong, and to immediately go and make amends with whomever I might hurt. Thank you most of all for your forgiveness of my sins on the Cross!
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