So as most of you know, I am working through the 12 Steps of Celebrate Recovery. As I'm working each step, I can't help but look back and see the path God has had me on and how these next twelve steps are huge in the next step to beginning work in C. Asia. With all of that, I want to share candidly each step as I embark on this journey. I will tell you that there is nothing magical or formulaic in the 12 steps...they are merely tools. More importantly, they are based on 8 biblical principles from Jesus' famous "Sermon on the Mount" in Matthew 5.
Since they are principles, I'm not working each step with the hope that I'll never have to work them again. No, I'm working each step diligently with the hope that I become more skilled in these biblical principles as I embrace life dependent on God & interdependent with His Body. I recently heard that the word recovery more accurately reflects the concept of spiritual maturation.
What is the first step?
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions (sins) & compulsive behaviors (intemperance), that our lives had become unmanageable.
What biblical principle does this reflect in the Beatitudes?
The first one: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven." Matthew 5:3
Principle 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing & that my life is unmanageable.
The attitude that has given me more fits and troubles in life is the one we all wrestle with: "I can do this...I can fix this...I can handle this all by myself." We all want to be God, much like Adam & Eve. Not one human is exempt from this struggle. We all try to wretch our lives away from God much like a child wretches a new toy away from his parents and won't let them show him how to use it.
That new toy is my life...and I've misused it, neglected it, and broken it. The crazy thing is I did all of this years ago, but denial and pride has blinded me to this simple fact: I can NOT do this...I can NOT fix this...I can NOT handle this all by myself.
The veil has been lifted...the scales have fallen from my eyes...the blinders are off.
My sins may have been forgiven on the Cross, but I am where I am today and who I am today because of where I've been. God wants to change that...change me...and the paradox is that I have been changed, but I am in the process of changing. He loves me just the way I am now, but He is not content to leave me as I am today.
"God, I am weak and unworthy...please take what's left of this broken life and my broken heart and heal it...heal my relationships. Show the power of the only true gospel in this body of dust & wind. Make me new & use me...guide me, teach me, make me like your Son. Amen."
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